Wednesday, 31 July 2013

On victim blaming. (possible trigger warning)

Rape is pretty special in the type of emotions it brings out in us. It's also pretty special in the way some people so readily jump to blame the victim. "Why was she out so late?" "Where were the parents?" "Why was she wearing a short skirt?" "Why didn't she fight?" "Why was she so drunk?" "Why was she dancing like that, surely this means she wanted to have sex?" "Why did she kiss him in the first place?" "She slept with him before, so how come she didn't want to this time?"

I'm aware that I am painting men as rapists and women as the victims in my above rhetoric. I know that many men do also experience rape and sexual assault. This is most commonly perpetrated by other men though of course there are exceptions. However this doesn't get the same news coverage so we don't tend to hear "Why was he walking home so late at night by himself"? I also don't think I've ever heard the words "Why was he wearing such a short skirt then"? You may laugh at that I am however not trying to be funny, seriously when do you hear men's clothing on a night out discussed in the way women's clothing is? WOMEN SHOULD BE ABLE TO WEAR WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT TO WEAR!!!!

The majority of rape is committed by someone the victim knows and often trusts. Stranger rape is no more real rape than any other rape. All rape is rape, it's not a little bit of rape versus a lot of rape. It is rape as soon as someone has said no or is incapable of saying anything at all. If your girl/boyfriend is saying no please don't ever utter phrase "just a little bit more". If a girl/boy you've taken home with you seems a bit too drunk to know what they're doing and you feel it's a grey area then always air on the side of caution. You can always have sex another time.

It is never ok to blame the victim because it is never the victims fault. The common thread between rape is a rapist. Blame the rapist, blame the rapist, blame the rapist. How many times will this need repeating???

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