Yesterday I was inspired by another twitter user to talk about my body and the way others view it. Many people were agreeing with the same frustration we felt about how people treat our bodies.
For some reason when you're a curvaceous some-what overweight woman people feel it's ok to comment on it. They also feel the need to offer unsolicited exercise advice, diet tips and a perfunctory "well you're not THAT fat".
No, I'm not THAT fat. I am over-weight but you know what, I'm becoming increasingly ok with this. I'm slowly but surely beginning to love my body. I battled eating disorders for many years, the only time I have been truly thin I was also very sick. In my case thin did not equal healthy, somewhat overweight has however made me feel much healthier. I have more energy to do the things I enjoy. Those things by the way do not mean going to the gym. Not only do I absolutely not enjoy it I feel ashamed when people look at my body that way. I don't want to be poked, prodded and told in which areas I fail. This is partly the reason I stopped dancing, the intense scrutiny ruined my self-esteem.
I am incredibly aware of my body, it's movements and the way it looks. My breasts receive a lot of attention 95% of which is unsolicited, unwanted and quite frankly creepy. I am indeed in proportion with a smaller waist, a rotund behind and what is affectionately named "child bearing hips". An hour glass figure is sought after, I know this. But the hour glass figure that is sought after is one that still manages to be a UK size 6/8. This is not the hour glass figure that I have!
There are many lovely people in my life who try to make me feel better about my body by saying it's not as big as I think it is. I think it would be far more helpful to see beauty in a range of sizes rather than equating beauty with thin. When I say "I'm fat" instead of saying "no you're not, don't be silly" say "yes, and you're beautiful".
Please stop telling me it's ok cause I have a really pretty face....no...shhh....no....