Wednesday, 26 March 2014

On Self-Esteem (a poem)

I am not supposed to love myself
The whole world tells me I’m not allowed to love myself
If I do, I am conceited, arrogant and full of myself

I am not supposed to like myself
The whole world tells me I can’t like myself
If I do, they ask me why.

I don’t love myself
I don’t like myself
But each day I am trying

In the face of the world telling me I shouldn’t
I am taking small steps

Revolutionary steps

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

On loving all things femme

So apparently pink is stink. Excuse me while I go throw out everything I own in my favourite colour because society deems yet another feminine attributed colour or item to be lesser. I am femme and I am proud of it. I do not view myself as lesser because I happen to like what society deems as lesser. Have I been influenced as a person by the patriarchy? Of course I have, we all have, literally everything has. However it is very fucking patriarchal to continue postulating that anything femme is inferior.

Absolutely anyone can be femme/feminine. Femininity is not a performance any more than masculinity is. There are of course times when both can be such but I wouldn't assert one as more so than the other. Nor would I posit either as intrinsically performative. Even if it were a performance, unless it is negatively affecting you & your mental health would it still be correct to argue that the performance in itself is a bad thing?

We laud strong female characters and of course we should, but we should not laud them over feminine (or as society reads that word, weak) characters. People are nuanced and can be strong & feminine, weak & masculine & everything in between. Neither weakness nor strength are inherently negative characteristics & we can all benefit from a bit of both. Strength and weakness also come in many different forms & aren't always the way society views them.

Femininity is just as valid, just as important & just as real as anything else. Of course it is problematic that toys & items are constantly gendered. But it's no more problematic labelling things "for girls" than "for boys". Toys, colours etc. should be for people & people should be free to like whatever they like. When we don't rage the same way about something being "for boys" we are simply relenting to the idea that boy/man = default person.

Until we stop positing femininity as performance, not valid & lesser we really aren't fucking getting anywhere are we.